Vous en rêviez, je l'ai fait. Enfin je mets en ligne le speech qui m'a valu la coupe co-gagnée avec Lorédana. Enjoy!
Once upon a time, there was a little girl, who was dreaming about her Charming Prince... Everyone knows this story, don't they? And every time, it ends the same way. “They got married and had plenty of children.” Pfff... Bullshit. Please, for once in your life, open your eyes: love sucks, doesn't it? It definitely sucks. And everyone that tries to say the contrary is a blind, damned fool person. I can prove it. I can tell you why love sucks...
I know what you're going to say. “He doesn't know what he is talking about... Poor him.” Well... I perfectly know what I'm talking about. I mean, you just have to look around to notice it. Love drives stupid. Can't you see how two lovers do stare at each other for hours, before one of them would utter say a single word? Most impressive, when you interrupt them, you got kicked and insulted, because you've just interrupted a deeply intensive moment. What a joke... isn't it? Or they still stare each other; and ignore you, as if you had never existed. “Love makes the world go round.” Well... the man who said that was definitely insane. I would even say it makes the world recede in its foolishness. How do you wanna go further when the entire world lifeblood has been sucked out by this contagious disease?
Furthermore, please, do not tell me you have never been disgusted by lovers. Who has never said it was disgusting to see two lovers kissing each other? “Look! He's eating her!” “Oh my Gosh... she is washing his throat, his tonsils, his entire stomach!” Hum... Glamorous, isn't it? Sometimes, I really understand Mrs Morelli and her same old tune: “Drop her! Drop him! This is indecent! This is offending! This is outrageous! This is scandalous, preposterous, ominous! We are in a Catholic High school here, aren't we?” At least, this is quite funny to watch the way she shouts the hell out of them.
Alfred Musset once wrote: “And you would have lived if you have loved.” I would have said “you would have lived if you have run away from this golden jail.” Well... golden must be inappropriate. But actually, the jail part was pretty right! You can't move with a bull and a chain around your ankle, can you? Cause that is what love is: a weight on your chest. For example: “Congratulations! You are now married. You have just won a fulltime job, an hysteric wife and a pathetic child who does not want to be the surgeon you have always wanted to have in the family. Your dreams floated away and disappeared into the ocean of regrets and disillusions. Bonus: you have just won taxes, school bills, restaurant bills (yes, because your wife demand to eat outside at least twice a month, pretending she's too tired to make the dinner), shopping bills, wife bills, scooter bills (the one your son has always wanted to have), and finally, make up bills (for your little girl that can not understand she is too young to make herself up). One again, congratulations!”. Isn't love powerful?
Oh yeah... Children. The “Love fruit”, isn't it? Common... A baby can only do four things: cry, eat, pee, and sometimes, poo. And there, you are really happy to have to change the baby's nappy. And once you are the nose in his shit, you declare “I love you my baby”. “Love fruit”? I guess sometimes you really wouldn't have eaten the defended fruit to produce this one if you had known! And then it grows and grows, and the teenage period comes. “I want a scooter” and “I'm old enough to wear thongs, I'm eleven now” are the only words that come out of their mouth and are intended for you. After all the love you gave them, look how they love you back ... You see, love is a bitch.
Are you still in love now? Cause if you are, I can only say that you are strong. Very strong. And if you can bear this “fresh feeling” for the rest of your life, maybe you should. Who knows? Maybe I'm just a jealous guy...
